There are times in life when you have to turn things over to the experts, even if it does not make total sense to you, and I am at peace with that. I have done so much research and been in mental mode, but now it is time to build my healing cocoon and get into nurturing mode. So far I feel much better than expected. A little more tired, but still able to go to the gym and take spinning classes, walk and do some lower body yoga at home. My arms are still a bit constrained because I can't do repetitive motion or lift them very high since my surgery, but it gets a little easier every day.
Yesterday I went out to a wig store with my 9 year old daughter, Kendra, and she helped me try on and select something that we were both comfortable with. I felt this stage would hit her the hardest and wanted to include her in the decision. Next week a close friend who went with me to the Miss America Pageant and acted as my hairdresser back stage, will come to my house to cut my hair. Christopher and I have been through a lot together since I stepped into his salon over 30 years ago! My mom will next try to help me with creating a pony tail from my hair to hopefully use under a baseball cap if we can make it work.
Finally, I have to say how amazed I am by my husband, Jim, who has walked with me and not tried to push his opinion regarding this tough decision. He was right by my side doing research and actually spent many more hours watching testimonials and videos as well as reading books. I love him more than ever for that and appreciate his strength during this time. Men who are with women in this position must feel helpless. I am very blessed, not to have this awful diagnosis and treatment, but to have this ability to look at my life in a very different way and to appreciate all that my life has to offer. I would like to end this note with a quote from a song I heard in spinning class today, "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger, stand a little taller....me, myself and I."