So now I was so crazed but glad that I also had booked the surgery at the time of the biopsy for the 20th which is tomorrow. The less time that passes between a biopsy and a surgery the better in my mind once you prod and pierce the monster:( On Friday I contacted a company called Rational Therapeutics, Dr. Robert Nagourney in California that I had been researching over a year ago which specializes in chemo sensitivity testing where they actually take a part of your tumor and test different chemo drugs on it to see what is effective in eradicating it, at what strength and what combinations. As I'm sitting in the Vitamin C Infusion IV chair at my Naturopath, Dr. Ian Bier's office in Portsmouth, I made a connection with this company and they agreed to overnight me the kit. I do realize it is controversial and not common practice to test your tumor in the lab because you can't recreate the environment of the body, but hell, it's better than shooting blindly in my mind and the information could certainly not hurt when making important choices like will I do chemo again!
Well I am so thankful because the company just replied to me this evening to let me know we were approved for financial assistance by The Vanguard Cancer Foundation! Such wonderful news because as you know you just can't budget for "C", (I don't like to give power to the word, but I will name the foundation who is helping me out and say the word to recognize them)! So I am clearly getting divine guidance I feel to assist me in the answers going forward. I am trying to temper my grief with it coming back with the fact that it may be only a local recurrence. At this decision point, I will clearly do radiation after surgery, and although you can't look back and wonder if I made the right decision before, I can only look forward. The most upsetting part to consider is chemo may be in my future again, and the chemo that was done before may have been totally ineffective or it may have for a time, it is hard to tell at this point. One thing is clear, I've got to beat this thing...I am not ready to give up and check out...too many things to live for including these 3 growing babies in the photo below and graduations, weddings, grandchildren for sure! So please send me prayers and positive wishes tomorrow afternoon at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. Thanks to my family, friends, and readers for all the warm wishes...I can certainly feel your love.